Paul and the Angels

I walked over to my mailbox to retrieve the day's mail while Malachy Dachshund barked impatiently in the car. Inside the mailbox, was a small beige envelope from my friend Lorraine Brustas. I opened it immediately as I had been waiting to receive the lovely celebration of life card of her husband and my dear friend Paul.

Paul had made his transition earlier this year after an arduous battle with brain cancer-he was only in his late 50's... The card graced a photo of Paul's ever-smiling face on the front. Tears welled in my eyes as I remembered Paul. I had known him since I was about 14 years old growing up in San Diego and he was a close friend of my Mom's and our family. He was like a big brother to me. He was THE kindest, gentlest, most patient and one of the wisest men I have ever been blessed to know in this life! He always had a cheerful outlook and had that great big Greek smile that lit up every room he entered! In fact, my Mom and all of us affectionately nick-named him "Paul-the-Greek." 

Later in Paul's life, he met and married the love of his life, Lorraine and they enjoyed many happy years together, but of course not enough years. I had not been in touch with Paul since my step-Dad Donn passed away back in 2002. We managed to reconnect via that wonderful cyber entity known as Facebook early in 2011. I was so glad to have the chance to speak with him on the phone last year as we shared our experiences, and hopes for healing. (I was and still am recovering from multiple injuries from a fall I had on the job in 2010.) Paul was very open-minded and did not want to go the "chemo and radiation" route as he had seen so many of his friends including my Mom lose their lives with this horrid "option."  I admired his courage as he shared with me about his consultation with a Chinese Grand Master healer. The Grand Master gave Paul a prescription for drinking several cups a day of a wild conglomeration of herbal teas that had such a repugnant odor, it gave a whole new meaning to the term "witches brew!" 

I thought about Paul often all throughout last year and was setting forth the intention of enjoying visiting him and meeting his angel wife, Lorraine in San Diego in 2012. I visualized him as a healed and whole man- it was my sincere prayer...Then in January of this year I got the devastating news from Lorraine that Paul had passed away. It really rocked me. Again I cried tears of deep loss and anguish for what might have been...

After reading Paul's celebration of life card, I decided to take Malachy Dachshund to a local park. Since my hip and shoulder injuries from my fall in 2010, I could no longer take Malachy for walks, so I did the next best thing which was to take him out for some fresh air while holding onto his Flexi-leash with my uninjured left arm and giving him some much needed freedom to romp in the grass. Being the little hound that he is, with an expert nose, he began sniffing obsessively at a patch of tall reeds. I tried luring him in like a  fishing reel with a prize catch, but to no avail. So I walked over to where he was "pointing"-yes, he actually thinks he's a Pointer and it's the cutest thing ever to see him "point!" I parted the reeds to find a very intricately designed bird's nest holding a total of nine white eggs. The eggs were a dull matte finish and perfectly undisturbed! 

Malachy left disappointed that he could not have an evening appetizer of fresh eggs and I walked away in awe as we headed back to the car. When I turned on the radio, what song comes on but "Old Time Rock & Roll" by none other than Michigan legend, Bob Seger! I immediately thought of my friend Paul and turned up the volume in his honor as Paul loved Bob Seger with as much passion as I love U2! As I was driving, I began to smell a highly floral, sweet Honeysuckle type of fragrance and began to sneeze several times. It was so odd as all of my windows in the car were up and I was not wearing any cologne. Nor was I near any flowers in the park! I began to sense that my angels were with me-it was very soothing to my soul.

When I arrived home, I immediately went to my trusty Mac laptop and researched the symbolism behind bird's nests and nine eggs as I have held a life-long fascination with all things symbolic and metaphysical, believing that the Universe always speaks to us if we'd but listen, hear, see, and smell... to my excitement, I discovered a link that said "The number nine represents the inspiration and perfection of ideas." (I had recently been asking the Divine for inspiration and motivation to begin writing a children's book!) also, "The number nine was considered sacred in Greece." Key word... "Greece" cha-ching! My friend Paul was 100% Greek! The link went on to say that the number nine also represented nine choruses of angels and "beseeches us to recognize our own internal attributes and extend these abilities out into the world." Again, this spoke directly to me about getting the ball rolling to write my book and share my message of hope to children. Everything the link stated was such a clear confirmation to me, a "God-wink" if you will to START writing!

Finally, I looked up bird's nest and eggs symbolism and found bird's nests to represent: "Prosperous endeavor" and "Fortune and new opportunities." Perfect! I thought... Eggs proved to be a logical symbol of fertility and birth, as well as "Life's potential" and "Dormant talent." While making dinner that evening, I pondered the day's synchronistic events knowing that nothing in this world happens by accident and fully realizing that Paul was with me, my angels were with me, and again, Spirit gave me plenty of signs that I am indeed living a life of purpose!


***UPDATE!!!- Since this story was posted, I have corresponded with Paul's wife, Lorraine and she informed me that "Despite Paul's many allergies, he used to love the smell of Honeysuckle growing outside the window of our home." There's NO DOUBT in my mind that this entire day I have written about, from the moment I received Lorraine's card honoring Paul, to finding the bird's nest with 9 eggs in it, to hearing Paul's favorite singer, Bob Seger on the radio, to smelling honeysuckle in my car- having ALL of these events take place on the same afternoon, that Paul was... like Bob Seger used to sing, "accompanying me!!!"

Trees Know

The trees are all wise

As everyone knows...

That life always continues

And everything grows.

For there is always something

So fresh and new

With each and every Spring

Every flowering bloom.

As trees change their form

With every new season

They show- life's forever

There's always a reason.

As trees change colors

From green leaves to red,

So do people who have "died"

For they are really not dead.

Everything changes form

The soul loves to fly

For life is never-ending

And the soul doesn't die.

Thoughts on Home...

Home is where the warm, quiet stillness within my heart radiates outward...

Home is tangible... 


It's coming home to my vinyl-sided pale yellow castle and being bombarded with wet, sloppy kisses painted onto my cheeks from  a pair of little red hounds who have been longing for me to return from the day's adventures.

Home is where my organic veggie food grows in the backyard, sprouting up from the Earth to greet the warm Sun or thirstily drink in the raindrops on a grey October day.

At Home is where I dance on hardwood floors to rhythmic beats of Bono singing "Surrender" from 1983. Home IS surrendering...

Where we cuddle on the over-sized velvety  sofa with our  arms wrapped around each other, enthralled with a new release movie.

Home is where the fragrance of sweet Banana Nut bread baking in my oven permeates the entire house while candlelight glows in tandem with the full moonlight beaming brightly through  living room windows.

Home is Spiritual...

It comes along wherever I take my Being to places that are joy-filled. It is the stillness during a meditation when my eyes are closed and life in the physical world slows down and the dull roar becomes a gentle whisper...

Home is where the trees rustle as the wind of Spirit playfully tickles their leaves.

Home is the sea with blue-green waves sweeping the sandy shore as I inhale the intoxicating salty sea air!

Where seagulls plant their orange, spindly feet upon my lightly sunburned shoulders as they plead to me with those piercing all-knowing Avian eyes for "some of what I'm having."-And then, Home is when I "give in." 

Home is the company of family, not necessarily blood relatives, but my tribe of people and creatures that I have a history with. Where I am emotionally embraced and supported without judgement. 

Most of all, Home is Love... it's wherever I AM and I AM  everywhere I take me!

The Red Feather

Moving to Clarkston was my intention for about a year and on October 10th, 2010, yes… 10/10/10! I found a beautiful apartment and made my move. It went ALL wrong! From the "Two Men In A Truck" arriving an hour late and turning out to be "Two Boys In A Truck," to the "Boys" saying they had to take time to relax on my dime to eat pizza in the moving truck, to not being able to get the sofa OUT of the old apt, to not being able to get the old sofa INTO the new apartment and then having to resort to either abandoning my less-than-a-year-old beautiful brown high back microfiber sofa to the dumpster or calling all my friends in a state of contrasting emergency to see if one of them would temporarily "house" my precious sofa! What a day! I had seriously forgotten just how stressful a move COULD be! As it turned out, my sofa was driven to my friends' house and I was later informed that  another friend of mine and her husband who were struggling financially unbeknownst to me, were in need of a sofa. Well, the Universe decided the best thing would be to give my sofa to my friends in need.  I was pleased as punch! I knew that God/Source/All That Is had a plan for me and possibly that plan would of course include even BETTER new furniture for my cozy new apartment! And I was right! 

I was able to purchase a lovely olive green sofa and love seat living room set complete with flatscreen TV, decorative rug, two lamps, two end tables and a matching coffee table! When the furniture company delivery men arrived at my door, they quickly realized that they could not get my new furniture in through the front door! "Here we go again!", I thought… then, the final resolution was to hoist the sofa up over the balcony of my apartment. "Do I really want to be present to witness this attempt?" I thought. Uh, NOOO! However, I gathered the gumption to watch and with a huge belt-like thing, they managed to do it. I was eternally grateful and the men were off for their next delivery.

 It was very strange to be in a new living space. VERY… I had come from a tiny 500 square foot 1 bedroom garden apartment to a huge 1,000 square foot 2 bedroom "castle" apartment and realized the walls were paper thin in the new place as my Miniature Dachshund seemed to have a very healthy fifth Chakra and proceed to bark his ever-loving head off at the drop of a hat!…or when the mailman arrived, or when the neighbors' door opened, or when the guy upstairs pounced around his living room each Saturday chasing his hyperactive toddler son around directly above my head… "Great, just great!" I thought. I haven't even been in this place a month and I am going to be evicted due to a misbehaving loudmouthed yappy lapdog of mine!   I began to feel that maybe I had made the wrong decision to move here. After all, the move was pure hell. I felt like I did a very poor job of "manifesting a smoothe move" "Law of Attraction my ass!" I thought! -No pun intended…But I knew I had created this move and it all happened for my highest good, really. Even if it didn't feel like it at the moment. One day I left my apartment with my small red hound and ran a few errands. Upon returning, I walked up my stairs and reached my front door. Mind you, the door to my apartment is housed within an exterior corridor hallway of sorts and there were never any wind gusts that could possibly reach my apartment door! I glanced down at my feet on the "welcome" doormat that so proudly welcomed all friends who visited, and I saw a soft pale (female) red fluffy Cardinal feather! Joy permeated my Being as I once again, was given a gift from Spirit…from my Mom!

The Snowy Owl

It was a couple of years since my Mom had made her transition back Home. I walked into my local Hallmark store probably in search of another mushy birthday card for a friend when I found a collection of children's stuffed animals at the back of the store. A beautiful Snowy Owl sat majestically in the front of the other "stuffties." I picked him up and noticed how super soft and fluffy he was in my hands. Then I noticed a manufacturer's "gift tag" on the bird's left wing. As I gazed at the card, it read, "For you (heart) with a small red heart"  and had an illustrated drawing of a cute brown teddy bear with his arms outstretched in a "pre-embrace" fashion next to the inscription. "That's cute", I thought… then my eyes shifted downward to the bottom of the giftcard and my jaw DROPPED! I couldn't believe what I was seeing! It read…"Mary Meyer." That was my Mom's name verbatim, EXACT spelling! I was stunned! 

Well, of course I had to purchase my new owl friend so I brought him immediately up to the counter to present my cash. I walked out to my car, got in and opened the paper bag containing my newfound stuffed pal. I picked him up again and noticed he had what I now affectionately call "the butt tag" and it said in big BOLD RED letters… MARY MEYER! I knew without a doubt as tears fell down my face that this was indeed another gift from Mom! It was perfect!…from the "gift card" with the teddy bear drawing preparing to hug someone to  the "For you, love" As my Mom, being 100% Irish American had always affectionately called us kids "love!" You see, Mom always loved birds and was also a child at heart and liked stuffed animals as well! And again, I knew I was never alone and that my Mom was always near me! 

The Crow

It was December 27th, 1993  around 10:30AM as our entire family gathered around Mom's bedside in her sunny San Diego home. I was holding Mom's left hand with my right hand as we all watched her take her last gasps of air until she finally took one long breath and then  peace permeated the entire room. She was a merely 50 years young Mom, and I was a 27 years young daughter.  Mom had been struggling with Cancer for the past five years and she had finally decided it was time to go back Home. 

We had a memorial service at our local Catholic church followed by a traditional Irish wake with many many family and friends. A few days later I was sitting at the window seat of my plane preparing to take off and return to Michigan. There was a long stretch of 8 to 10 silver birds lined up for take off at the San Diego Airport that morning.  All of a sudden, out of the corner of my right eye there appeared a rather LARGE BLACK BIRD! He looked like a Crow and I noticed that he was hovering and trying to get my attention, it seemed. He kept turning his head and flapped his wings to stay within view of my window! "That's odd", I thought to myself. Then I started to think, here I am on a NOISY departure strip of an airport getting ready to take off with all these other noisy planes revving their engines and a BIRD decides to reveal himself to me! My left brain tried to justify and rationalize it all. It simply could not be done! Birds just don't fly up to airplane windows and HANG OUT! Birds don't like LOUD sounds!…Finally we were airborne, and I realized it was my Mom saying "I love you, I am still with you, and I am ok." I cried into my kleenex tears of both sadness and comfort with a deep knowing that I would never be alone.